Getting it off my chest!

Ok, today I am going to have a moan and get it off my chest, so those who happen across this blog and don't want to read the deranged ramblings of a mad woman can go away now!
D has Crohns disease and over the last seven years has not only lost huge amounts of weight but become a completely different person. He is bad tempered, moody, and can be really obstinate. I know its because of the medication he is on and because he is in pain a lot of the time but he really is a bugger to live with!! Finally after a good few years it seems they have got the Crohns into remission, which means he can now have an operation to bypass the scar tissue at the exit of his stomach. This will hopefully stop him constantly throwing up and he can put some weight back on and get rid of all the pain and discomfort.
Sounds good eh? But of course it isn't as straight forward as that. The reason he is in remission is because he is on immune suppressant treatment, so he has no immune system to speak of. The surgeon that we have been referred to is not keen on doing the surgery because of the risk of infection afterwards. He can't stop the treatment because not only could the Crohns come back, but once you stop you can't ever have that treatment again as it would send you into anaphalatic (sp) shock. The risk of infection is quite high at this hospital, last November my Grandad died after having a hip replacement op and picking up MRSA. MIL's best friend died in February after having an op and catching C-Diff. So given that knowledge the op seems more and more of a risk.
The problem is, I know D can't carry on the way he is, and I know I can't!! But I am scared to death that the op that should save him may end up making him more ill or even worse killing him.
Added to all this life seems to be determined to be a pain in the backside and keeps giving me more and more to cope with. R is playing up big time, she will be in a cast for six weeks but the ADHD is making her a complete cow at the moment and she is not making any effort to control it. My Aunt has just broken the news that she has breast cancer, work is too much stress, and I am just not coping. All I want to do is hide somewhere until it all goes away.
Well, there you go, rant over! Maybe getting it off my chest will help, maybe not.